First love often cannot escape the "3-month rule". Based on the experiences of friends around me, the first relationship often does not last more than 3 months, and the reason is always "not suitable". As for which aspects are not suitable, it is difficult to investigate one by one. In my opinion, in general, it can be understood from the following aspects.
After getting rid of secondary education, parents suddenly encourage children to have free relationships, and some parents even worry about their children not being in a relationship. The change comes so quickly that even the children themselves are confused and secretly swear to find their "the one". However, relationships that are pursued with such obvious intentions often end up in confusion, lasting only a few months or even just a week or two. Why does it start and end so quickly? I analyze that children are still children after all, even if their status changes from high school students to college students, or even from college students to working adults, their psychological state is still not mature enough. The pressure of the first relationship, driven by hormones, exceeds the capacity of the brain.
To be happy for someone else, empathy is needed. In childhood, children often do cruel things, such as abusing small animals. If adults do not teach them in time and let them understand that things other than themselves also have "feelings", they will not develop the basic human nature of "it hurts me and it hurts them" in their future growth. This kind of education is very necessary and can make a child's heart soft and form basic moral values. Although China has always had different views on the existence of universal values, from the perspective of basic education, this is obviously a good choice. To get rid of the lack of empathy is the primary reason for the rapid demise of the first love. Imagine, if a living being cannot empathize with another living being, can so-called "love" be generated? I think this is definitely impossible.
Giving up a part of one's living space for another person takes time and requires constant compromise from both sides. A person who has been taught the principle of "not relying on others for everything" since childhood, and has indeed lived a self-sufficient life, will naturally reinforce their "belief" that they don't need anyone else. In extreme cases, they may be very concerned about someone else appearing in their life, disrupting their rhythm, and affecting the achievement of their goals. This is reflected in the process of dating, and even intimate behavior is not accepted. From my observation, this behavior is not directly related to whether someone has a higher education. It is not that the more outstanding the education, the less they need a partner. Various details of life can become catalysts for reinforcing beliefs. The so-called "love and intimacy" are all compromises in giving up one's own life, and they are subjective choices.
To understand a relationship from a male perspective, it is inseparable from "how to evaluate a woman". First of all, it needs to be clear that this is an extremely complex systematic project that cannot be explained in a few words. Moreover, this explanation is based on personal experience, and there is no a priori element for experiential things.
In the past, when I met a mentally innocent woman who didn't have much insight into things, her character was very likable. After spending a long time with her, I realized that women are such creatures who always prioritize emotions, believe whatever men say, but have more elements of liking than dislike. Later, I met some rational women and realized that women also think about things that men like to talk about, such as politics and strategies. My prejudice against women was deepened, but in fact, the difference between men and women is much smaller than the physiological differences. In summary, understanding of things is always based on personal experience and develops gradually. The same goes for understanding women.
When some people talk about women, they must talk about feminism. I listened to a podcast about feminism, and there was a male student who claimed to be a male feminist. His actions and guiding principles were all about fighting for women's rights. The first thing he fought for was equal rights for his mother in the family, meaning that his father had to take on half of the household chores and not let his mother do everything alone. However, this caused his father's anger. The male feminist's first expedition ended in failure, encountering the stereotype of "men work outside, women work inside" that has been formed for thousands of years. From this, it can be seen that the vision of gender equality is difficult to achieve, and it has only taken the first step so far. In the fight for women's equal rights, it can start with "making men sit down to pee".
When it comes to relationships between the sexes, marriage must also be discussed. Objectively speaking, for modern women who no longer need to rely on men for survival resources, the necessity of romantic and marital relationships is questionable. If they are no longer needed, why bother with so many so-called life matters? Dowry, marriage, buying a house, buying a car, having children, raising children, and so on. "Men must start a family, women must get married," this stereotype deprives both men and women of many choices and escapes from the family. The so-called major events in life are only matters of life and death. If people live according to the same mold, what is the meaning of life? Dividing life according to "conventional" standards is actually meaningless, it only adds troubles and restrictions, hindering the growth of "people". It is better to laugh at the sea and enjoy freedom.
As a person in their twenties, my thoughts may be different from those in their thirties or forties, and face-slapping moments often occur, but they cannot stop my current "prejudices". Whether I have a one-sided understanding of women or completely misunderstand them, it doesn't matter much. As my ex-girlfriend said, "Forget it, don't dwell on it."